Monday, December 05, 2005, 12:05 PM

You know the sound a car makes when someone turns the key in the ignition and the car is already on? A horrible, dull sounding scratching happens. The few times I've done this, my skeleton about popped out of my skin. It's not a sound you want to hear repeated. It's bad for the car. And, well, someone keeps doing this in our alleyhood. I hear it at least twice a week, so I figure it must happen even more than that since I'm not around much during the week. Then again, maybe there are several people in the alleyhood trying to turn on cars that are already on.

I'm waiting for my groceries to arrive. One of the benefits of a mega-populated city with a shitload of traffic is online grocery shopping and delivery. I don't have to heave my laundry detergent, dishwasher soap and cans of soup through a gated walkway, nor do I have to lug them upstairs. Oh, sweet joy. Oh, sweet convenience. I forgot the Draino, though. And there was no Soft Scrub available. I could buy my preferred brand of hair color, but not Soft Scrub. Clearly, online shopping has its disadvantages.

I'm reading Psycho-Cybernetics (again) to discover my buried success mechanism, to learn how to dehypnotize all of the false beliefs I have about myself, and to learn how to think rationally when I most need to. All of that shit. When I figure it out and feel as if I've learned something and that I am actually putting practice into motion, I'll probably write about here. Because it's supposed to be life-changing stuff. However, my head's still aslosh, I'm not sure what a success mechanism really is (or where it might be buried), I'm unsure I can focus long enough to dehypnotize myself, and rationality has never been one of my strong points. I want it to be, though. I want everything the book talks about, but it takes work and dedication to make yourself feel better and you've got to want it bad.

It's 12:30. My groceries still aren't here. My time slot for delivery was between 11:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. Nothing like the last minute. I haven't even showered yet; I'm sitting here in my sweats and slippers and my hair's in a ponytail. I was hoping I'd be up early enough to shower first and I was, but I didn't feel like showering. All I wanted was a cup of coffee. I look forward to my three-day, loll-about weekends without having to dive for the shower first thing because the rest of the time, it's go-go-go, all of it on someone else's timetable.

Guess I'll go pee. That'll make the grocery deliveryman show up for sure.

Update: It worked! I was heading for the bathroom when I heard heavy steps coming up the stairs. It was Mike. From Vons.com and he wasn't allowed to receive a tip. All he needed was my signature on a piece of paper.

I could get used to this very easily.

6 Did the Unhingey Jiggy Engage in Unhingenosity
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