Randomosity, part the Zillionith Thursday, October 16, 2008, 5:46 PM It's been a while since I've done one of these kind of entries. Still Loving You by The Scorpions I was a naive 13-year-old when this song came out in 1984, but I heard it and was absolutely enthralled. I feel the same way today. Now, in fact. Wow. The feeling of aghast-ish-ment There's really no better word to describe what I feel when I hear someone verbally slams someone else, even if it's done in a no-harm-meant manner. I'm jealous because some people can get away with these kind of remarks [in the work place, even!] without visible enmity. Without repercussions. Without losing popularity or I-like-ya, I-really-like-ya points. How can you comment on weight and eating habits about someone who is obviously overweight without repercussion? How can you slam-bam someone's loud-mouthed, insensitive comments without ending up on a hit list (even if the loud-mouthed, insensitive comment-maker needs to be put in her place)? I don't know, but what I do know is that I seem doomed to wear the hat of empathy and I hate it. That hat is bulky, unattractive as hell, and makes my head itch. Does it do any good to imagine another's pain if I don't do anything about it? All it's seemed to be so far is a damned inconvenience. Introvert pretending to be an Extrovert Is there a law against this? Should I feel badly when my introvert tendencies fall way short of an extrovert's? (Can't I just be one or the other without feeling guilty?) The Joy of writing I saw this entry title on one of the blogs I subscribe to and snorted in disgust. Then I immediately felt ashamed of myself because I know the power of what writing can do, how cathartic writing can be once I force myself to it, and (er, um, hell) what a joy it can be. That told me, right on the heels of me gagging, that I am hiding. That I am being a total weenie and hiding from my innermost thoughts. In writing my thoughts down--even if I'm not doing it as an exercise--I will eventually find the release I'm seeking and need, although I would never call it a joy. In that instance, it's more an act of forcing myself to barf, or taking a diuretic pill. Sekret Service! The building where I work was swept by the Secret Service today. Senator Joe Biden is talking thisclose to where I walk daily right now. Just, you know, in case it matters. Posterity. And an I was almost there kind of thing.
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