So, so, suck my toe
Thursday, March 09, 2006, 7:07 PM


Anybody who knows me knows I like feet. Actually, I'm more about shoes and foot prints, but any ole foot will do for me when I want a giggle. And so I give you Toe-Food Chocolates!

A friend sent this website to me after watching a podiatrist talk about his successful venture with foot candy on The Food Channel. Apparently the doctor came up with the idea of chocolate in the shape of feet as a way to thank his clients. Makes total sense, right? After all, he's a foot doctor.

There was probably the same sense of horror when someone came up with the idea of making rabbits into chocolate molds, at least with tender hearted females. But little girls have been biting the ears off of chocolate rabbits on Easter for a long time. As a little girl, I remember looking at my luscious chocolate bunny and feeling a wee twinge as I took a nibble from the tip of an ear. But he was always good enough that I would heartlessly and without remorse take another bite. Then another.

I remember feeling badly about wanting to bite the head off of my Animal Crackers elephant (I always felt the most remorse over eating the elephants and the least about eating the rhinoceros). I'm sorry, circus elephant, but you smell so good. You're not real, you can't feel pain, you're made out of sugar, flour and butter.

My point is that we all know the guilt doesn't last. And once you get over the shock of biting the big toe off a chocolate foot, you'll probably go after the second toe with great relish.

But before all of this toe nibblage could happen, the good foot doctor had to find the perfect foot model. He couldn't use a skinny foot, really couldn't go for the hammer toe look, and a fat foot would never do, either; a foot has to be aestically pleasing if one is going to eat it. When he did find his foot model in a teenaged boy, I bet the doctor had an amusing time of it trying to explain to the boy's parents what he wanted and why. I imagine the conversation went something like this:

I want to make chocolate feet, Mr. and Mrs. Phut, and your son's feet are gorgeous, just the perfect size and shape. I tell you, his toes were made for nibbling.

The Phuts, no fools they, agreed to the doctor's idea. Their boy's foot was immortalized in chocolate, dark, white and sugar-free, as well as in taffy and hard sugar candy. The podiatrist's clients loved the sugary feet treats so much that they began to spread the word about the feet they ate. The podiatrist's business grew and grew and he had so many feet, he didn't know what to do. And then other podiatrists asked him for the feet treats for their clients.

And this is how an unlikely, quirky candy idea featuring feet was born.

God, I'm jealous.
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Photo credit belongs to Toe-Food Chocolates
4 Did the Unhingey Jiggy Engage in Unhingenosity
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