Smackdown Sammy
Thursday, July 20, 2006, 6:37 PM

He who fights too long against dragons becomes a dragon himself. (Nietzche)

What do I write about when I'm so fed up with things that I can't see straight? Something that's censored because I'm not anonymous and can't get my bitch on like I really want to.

Oh, if only.

People think I'm easy to push around because I don't let things--or them--bother me. I forgive and forget easily. Not always, but usually. I'm not the type of girl who's going to make an issue about things unless I'm pushed once too many. I'm as happy-go-lucky, accommodating and undemanding as Fieval the mouse, but once someone's crossed the line, they know it because I let them know it. Enough is enough is enough; my former roommate and I discovered that the hard way. I dislike having to be Miss Manners or having to state the obvious, and when the time comes that I do have to make a stand, I'm long past the point of cool objectivity. I hate being forced into that position. The older I get, the worse that gets, although I suspect I'm no different from others in that regard. Still, that's no good. It's not good for my psyche and it's not good communication. I'm working on it.

And then there are the nitpicking naggers. Holier than thou, looking down their noses at you from a lofty Mount Olympus-like perch. The self-professed dragons are the worst because once they admit what they are up front, they think they can exercise their dragony carte blanche up and down your bare backside. I'd bet my left boob--my biggest boob--that these are the kids who grew up saying, "I'm gonna tell Mom what you did and YOU'RRRRRE going to get a spanking." Even though you know you were wrong to do whatever in the first place and you'd apologized up, down and sideways. Or even worse, maybe you didn't mean to do what you did at all and it was just a dumb misunderstanding. But tattling makes the nitpicker feel important and if you take that away from them, what do they have?

Did you ever notice that this kind of person never seems to realize how they might be seen by others? Maybe their horsey blinders make them believe they're witty, intelligent, always on top of things, that they're the Smackdown Sammy of the Hood here to save the world from unacceptable evil one nag at a time. And holy lactose intolerant cow, shouldn't we be grateful they're on the case?

Yeeeeeah. I'm so grateful I feel like pooping out every last one of my curdes onto the plate for 'em because bitching about the same thing more than once takes a lot of energy, plus it makes the nitpicker look really good, too.

3 Did the Unhingey Jiggy Engage in Unhingenosity
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