Stupid phobias
Thursday, July 06, 2006, 7:34 PM

In between typing such words as miraculous and loo the other night, I blew my nose and went back to typing word phrases like utterly ridiculous and unchecked laughter and rapidly beating heart. And then I noticed bits of white on the keyboard.

On my lap.

On the desk.

WHAT the?

Thinking a spider's nest had just hatched (spider phobia aside, who wants a bunch of baby spiders crawling up their privates), I jumped out of my chair with a screech the whole building must've heard. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

After much rounded-eyeballness and deep breathing, I came to my senses when I realized I'd blown a hole through my kleenex. Apparently I didn't notice it happening at the time because my body had been abducted in between the words miraculous and unchecked, and returned in time for laughter and discovery.

I'm not sure what to think about my alien abduction, but I hope I'm not pregnant.
4 Did the Unhingey Jiggy Engage in Unhingenosity
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