Randomistic Unhingenism
Friday, May 30, 2008, 7:37 PM

It's been a while since I publicly shared any brain dumps, but heh, I've spared you all long enough. This is all part of my evil world domination plan to convert you all to Unhigenism. There will be no bending of the bodies, no knees against concrete, broken glass, or hard-padded wood that feels like Styrofoam on concrete. No confessions, no wafers to swallow, no nodding off during an early morning sermon. (But there will be wine. And maybe fish, if it's fresh cod.)

This much I know. And that's about it because I'll make the rest up as I go along. No rules, just inspiration born of necessity. And certainly, there will be no restrictions that would make someone feel bad.

Really, the thing is, is that I read back through these blog entries a year or years from now and in a small sense, remember. The randomistic brain dumps are the best (for me). The more descriptive I am, the better. It's interesting, and I hope nothing happens to the Internet because I've sent schloads of garbage trucks into the cosmos, and my lower lip would puff out and quiver if it was all just gone.

Remember the worries of 2000? Everything was going to shut down. We were going to lose our savings accounts, IRAs and worst of all, electrical access to any machinery that operated on dates. I was a little disappointed that nothing happened, ho-hum, dee-dum-dum. I don't like it when someone hypes me up for the end of the world and nothing happens.


* Yo, Andi, you're a Macy's size two? You freakazoid. That hellishly unholy week of head-banging misery and barfdom in January really paid off. Oh, if only you weren't as white as Casper's twin.

* Doesn't any place but that place in Pennsylvania sell extra, extra sharp cheddar cheese?

* Every day I visit the Animal Rescue Site. Sometimes the stories make me cry.

* What do Edward Norton and the new Incredible Hulk movie have in common? Me. While I was growing up, I loved Bill Bixby as David Banner and Lou Ferrigno as the Incredible Hulk. And I guess I have something for the color green, because I loved the Jolly Green Giant, too. (stupid leaves)

* There was a Smart car parked along Melrose today on the way home. Navy blue and neat as the Pope's toothpick. Of course, I didn't have my camera--I never have my camera when it really counts. It's a good thing I'm not a photographer or a documentarist. But I bet the car belonged to the girl taking photos of the newest clothing shop. Even if she isn't/wasn't, already there's a story a-brewing in my mind.

* I live downstairs from you. Yes, I think you've seen me before.

9 Did the Unhingey Jiggy Engage in Unhingenosity
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