TT: 13 Not So Momentus Events
Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 7:20 PM

1. For AT&T, press button #2, then button #1, speak your account number clearly (for God's sake, don't laugh or say anything other than a number), then hold your breath until you get to talk to a living, breathing soul.

2. For Beauty & Hair-dot-com? You might as well pour yourself a glass of wine and kick back with a good movie. It also wouldn't hurt to send a thought like this into the cosmos: God, please don't cut me off after I've been waiting thirty minutes to talk to someone.

3. Anyone who isn't interested in talking to you willtalksofastyoucan'tunderstandthematall.

4. Wooo, I'm sitting here doing the jiggy trying to come up with number four.

5. I haven't won the lottery yet.

6. Nobody really wants to hear about the dream you had, unless it involves their significant other in a sexual way.

7. Yeah, I'm serious.

8. I wasn't hit by the car on Orlando, but I'll have you know, I escaped only by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin.

9. Near-death experiences like this don't seem to be any help with inspiring my writing.

10. After three month's planning and brow beating of persons other than myself, we were finally all set to go to Opaque on July 12. But the hotel is under construction for the next three months.

11. Can we have a moment of silence?

12. mistakenly delivered a case of Figi bottled water to me. I celebrated my good fortune by cracking one of the bottles open. I'm a Sparklett's girl--they just recycle water here, they don't make trips to Fi-freaking-ji and bottle it off the Yasawa Coast. And wouldn't you know it, came back after the case not thirty minutes later and I had to confess one of the bottles leaped out the box and begged me to drink it.

13. I did NOT taste the difference. Scout's honor. A higher price, a prettier bottle, and I still tasted the same water.


My work is done.

5 Did the Unhingey Jiggy Engage in Unhingenosity
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