Wednesday, June 07, 2006, 7:21 PM

Angry Lesbirds
They’re at it again. The lesbirds (short for lesbian love birds). Something about wearing clothing too tight this time. You look like a ho! and No, I look like every other girl in LA, only I’ve got bigger boobs. I wonder how long they’ve been together. I wonder how much longer they will be, although my real interest lies in how much longer the neighbors might have to suffer.

Peds in Danger
Reads like a documentary, doesn't it?

Another pedestrian almost bit it tonight at that one dangerous intersection. Lured by the smells coming from the café, the ped (another male) was halfway across the street when an oncoming SUV must’ve realized whoa, obstacle in street! and braked just in the nick. I heard the tire screech, glanced over to see the bumper of the SUV maybe a foot—if that—away from the guy’s hips. Then, I saw a black Porche brush its lip hair against the butt hair of the SUV. Meaning they almost traded a kiss, awwwww. The ped who could’ve ended up in my lap shook his head at me and I nodded.

Yuh-huh, it's a dangerous woild in which we walkith.

Meanwhile, I've decided never to cross a street again. This chick will be quite happy on her own side of the road. It’s L freaking A. Whatever's on the left side of the road will also be on the right.

No, I don’t do north/south or east/west. Who do you think I am, a geologist?

A maptologist?


The Lake House. Keanu Reeves. Unrequited love. June 16th.
Need I say more? Except ... psst. Keanu's ready to get married. Have kids.

So I'm taking off work early on Friday to go meet with him and, uh, you know. (I wonder if he'd settle for cats and dogs instead.)

If I was going to one, I’d bring twice-baked potatoes with lots of sour cream, cheese and green onions.

LA Anniversary
I’ve been here for just over a year now. I flew in for good—to stay—on a Friday, last May 28th. It feels like I just arrived yesterday, yet at the same time it feels that I’ve been here forever. Who knows if that’s good or bad. I take it one day at a time.

Do you think they're lactose-intolerant?

6 Did the Unhingey Jiggy Engage in Unhingenosity
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