Thursday, January 08, 2009, 9:24 PM

I was drowsing peacefully tonight when a small earthquake shook me awake. I didn't know what was happening at first because I was groggy, and then I did realize, and I bolted up and pulled on some socks. Because it's better to meet Fate with socks on in times like these, I think I thought at the time...

So now I can't sleep, and I figured I might as well write (on my next Twilight fan fiction piece), only I'm having difficulty concentrating. This piece is a tough one because it reminds me of the paper I wrote on euthanasia in high school. I still have the paper--I read it yesterday--and it seemed as if I'd written it from arm's-length. I knew the definition well, I knew how to spell the word correctly, but I didn't understand what euthanasia meant at all. I can't believe I got an A on it.

A few years ago, I saw a documentary about a man who was opting for mercy killing--he'd lost all his family and friends and was terminally ill. This program covered a year in his life as he went about seeking and interviewing with the doctor who would give him this release. It was depressing as hell and the closer the program got to the end, the more my insides shook. I couldn't watch the end. I was a wreck for days afterward--I just couldn't believe how strongly it had affected me. I understood his reasons for wanting to die, but I couldn't understand his resolve to see it through. And I couldn't understand how the doctor could end this man's life. But they were both utterly committed to seeing their plans through.

Now I'm trying to write something similar for Bella and Edward and my insides are shaking. So I guess that's a good thing because it'll be real for me, it'll make me cry, it'll make me angry. And that usually translates well into words.


And so here I am, drinking a cup of coffee after nine o'clock at night even though I have to work tomorrow. I'm going to stay up and write about death...and worry about earthquakes...because I'm still alive to do so. Yaay.


25 Did the Unhingey Jiggy Engage in Unhingenosity
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