Monday, January 16, 2006, 6:51 PM
This is a fuzzy shot of my tantric-inspired bedroom. Or would that be Asian? I dunno. But I think it's cool and a girl who does interior design for a living agreed. It's too bad you can't see my rug or the black fur on my bed because much of the cool effect is lost without those items. But maybe one day I'll get a good camera and turn into a photo-snapping crackpot yet.
I wanted to be picturey and uplifting this time because it's good to alternate a downer entry with an uplifting one. I am more than just a bewildered pessimist. I am a confused non-conformist, which really makes life interesting because hell, who knows if I'm just lost again or trying to be unique.
I don't think I'm going to admit to such things anymore. Nope. Better to leave people guessing.
My new thing lately is burning candles. Right now I have a blue berry candle burning and a maple spice candle. (Think blueberry pancake.) I love the ambiance of candles.
I am running out of candles.
A few weeks ago, one of my glass-enclosed candles melted on top of my bookshelf and then exploded. Now I have a ring of glass on the top of my bookshelf and melted glass on my rug. Farken weird. Why does my life have to be so interesting? It's always something lately and I wish it would just settle into something comfortingly dull.
Which is probably not possible in Los Angeles, but I can hope.
I heard something personally poignant in a movie today, something that won't leave my mind. You can't find peace by running away from life. And, well, my big thing about experiencing peace is to escape life--the everyday pressures and annoyances of life. But I get the message.
I can't run anyway.