Adventures on Signing In
Thursday, March 29, 2007, 5:57 PM

How many times have I clicked that little box that says Remember me when I sign in to Blogger? Lots. Does it work? Not once, even though I've varied my sign on routine by typing in my information and then moving my mouse to the Signin button and clicking it. Mostly I just type and hit the Enter key, don't 'cha know. Yahoo remembers me. Gmail remembers me. Lots of other sites remember me, but oh-ho, not Blogger.

I got an e-mail from Kevin Bacon today. Yeah, the actor. He wants me to join a charity called Six Degrees along with his wife, Kyra Sedgewick ... along with Rosie O'Donnell, Ashley Judd and Nicole Kidman, to mention a few. At first I thought Kevin was talking about the degree of separation each person has from each other, about how we're all connected or related in some way. And I'm like, Huh, I thought that was NINE degrees. Ah, but then the part about the Create an AIM page soaked into my brain and the cynical girl inside said, Pffft, this e-mail isn't from Kevin, it's from an AOL marketing foo.

So I hit my Back button and eyed Yahoo's Featured story of the moment: Four Cures For Love Laziness. I thought about clicking on it, but then I saw the words Master the art of cyberflirting hyperlinked below and mouse-pounced. A disappointing read, to say the least. Do a spellcheck, proof to make sure my grammar is correct. Keep my first messages simple. Don't respond to messages after ten at night. Nothing at all about how to bat my eyelashes in text, how to simulate the act of maintaining eye contact, no juicy keywords guaranteed to elicit a response.

So I visited the Four Cures piece and read this article was also focusing on online communication and online dating. According to the writer, I should go for the gusto and e-mail four ho-

And this is the happy moment when Blogger kicked me the wazoo out of the cosmos, but somehow, someway, my Yahoo screen remained uber strong. And when I went back to Blogger, it didn't recognize me and I had to sign on again. It's rough, I tell you.

So, back to the Four Cures thing. Apparently cyberdating is sweeping the nation with broader strokes than eva. Yeah, I met my ex online and we traded e-mails and phone calls for about a month, but is that cyberdating? I used to think looking for love online was cheating--lazy--not to mention possibly dangerous to my health because what if I fell in love with a self-professed CPA, but who was in fact a cynaide salesman-slash-murderer?

I don't see how e-mailing four hotties (and how would I know who's hot or not, anyway? People lie all the time on their profiles, on their blogs and in their e-mails), and that putting myself out there in written communication with opened ended questions to a potential love interest is going to cure me of what the article writer calls dating dawdilitus. Wouldn't that kind of thing just perpetuate it? Shouldn't I make arrangements to meet someone at the library, musem or restaurant on the corner instead?

Ulk. Eighty-percent of me doesn't want to date, anyway.

Okay, time to get back to my writing. I've got 28 pages of loathsome crap for my shrink, the lucky girl.

5 Did the Unhingey Jiggy Engage in Unhingenosity
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