Stupid stuff people do
Monday, March 23, 2009, 7:31 PM

(I've been eyeballing my dormant blog. Curling my lip at it. What, what, what to write?!)

Okay.

This.


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We have automatic flushing toilets in the building where I work. Only they don't flush all the goop down the hole, which means you're treated to the sight of the crap left over from the person who used the stall before you did. Over time, it builds up and builds up until the toilet-lined tissue papers in the bowl are high enough to kiss your arse if you wanted them to...

Anyone who actually works in the building--anyone who uses these stalls--will take the time to double-flush because c'mon, nobody-of-us wants an alien tissue paper tickle. Ew to the max and beyond!

So one of the regulars attempted a double-flush the other day. It just so happened to be the day that Fate was going to Bite.

Her.

Ass.

She used her pinky finger, almost the weakest finger (your ring finger is the weakest finger, in case you're wondering), to push the don't wait for motion, flush me friggen NOW button. But the button's been missing in this particular stall, and God knows where it is, so there's just an ovalish hole. Inside of the hole is a Piranha's teeth. They clamp into your skin and that's it.

You're there until help arrives.

True story.
18 Did the Unhingey Jiggy Engage in Unhingenosity
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